An old Chinese proverb says, “Can a man make no mistakes? It is superior to forgive.” Conflicts arise from our interacting with one another, but we should not take part in enlarging the problem. The Book of Mormon records the history of the Lamanites and the Nephites. Their hatred and hostility toward one another was a result of their lack of willingness to forgive. It takes forgiveness to resolve hatred. Another Chinese saying teaches, “It is better to make friends with enemies than to make enemies.” Forgiveness softens the angry and changes the ugly into beauty. Forgiveness brings peace and happiness to individuals, families, societies, and even the whole world.

Someone once said, “Because he has offended me, I will not approve of his behavior, and he is my enemy from now on.” This is an unwise choice. We ought to understand that all men are children of God; God dearly loves the person you hate. God has commanded us, “Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin” (D&C 64:9). Refusing to forgive others is not merely a weakness of the natural man but an obstacle to his obtaining eternal progression and exaltation.

When I served as a mission president, a missionary said to me, “I love Jesus and I would sacrifice my life and die for him at any given time, but I cannot stand my companion. Please give me a new companion, President Wan.” Fortunately, through a loving interview and the help of the Holy Ghost, this missionary eventually understood, “But of you it is required to forgive all men.” (D&C 64:10). While loving God is of utmost importance, we should not ignore the equally important commandment of loving our neighbors, which means loving everyone.

The following Chinese story may seem funny, but if you look at this world around us, similar things are happening every day:

In a small town there lived a simple fellow with his father, wife, and a young son. His wife was a common housewife, but his son was the most misbehaved, mischievous, impossible child in the entire town. Not a single day was peacefully spent without a brawl of some sort between him and the other children. To make matters worse, this simple fellow protected his son by treating others with the “Eye for an Eye” strategy. If someone would beat his son, he would immediately beat his neighbor’s son back. One day, the child annoyed his grandfather by pulling some of his beard out by the roots. The old man was so angry he forgot himself and beat the boy severely. Upon seeing this, the father then became angry and beat himself just as severely as the old man had beaten the child. “Are you mad?” asked the old man, “Why do you beat yourself so severely?” “You beat my son,” the simple fellow yelled in reply, “so I am beating yours.”

President Kimball said “Many people, when brought to a reconciliation with others, say that they forgive, but they continue to hold malice, continue to suspect the other party, continue to disbelieve the others sincerity. This is sin, for when a reconciliation has been effected and when repentance is claimed, each should forgive and forget, build immediately the fences which have been breached, and restore the former compatibility.”(The Miracle of Forgiveness, Eng. p.262) Let us remember the teachings from the Bible, “Let not the sun go down upon your wrath;”(Ephesians 4:26), “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”(Matthew 6:12);“The discretion of a man deferreth his anger,” and “It is his glory to pass over a transgression.”(Proverbs 19:11).

From the Bible we learn, Joseph was sold to Egypt because of the jealousy of his brethren. He was then framed by the wife of his master, which caused him to go to prison. After he interpreted the pharaoh’s, dream, he was released and selected as the king’s counselor. Because of a famine in the land, his brethren who once sold him, came to the land of Egypt to buy food. With Joseph’s power in the land of Egypt, he could have taken revenge and killed his brethren. However, he treated his brothers with kindness and love. Thus, we see that God foresees all things and long ago prepared a way. “ Vengeance is mine; I will repay," saith the Lord. (Rom 12:19) Because of our patience and forgiving hearts, God can accomplish things much greater than anticipated.

Forgiveness is to give up the desire for revenge, remember the wrongs of others no more, and forget other people’s faults. This is definitely not a cowardly behavior, but an expression of courage, and it should not be misunderstood as an indulging act. Kindness and love are not qualities of the weak, but qualities of a righteous person. One can best utilize the power of forgiveness if he truly loves. This brings comfort and peace to the soul. On the other hand, if one does not forgive, he loses love, opportunities, and freedom. Refusing to forgive leads to anger, jealousy, hatred, speculation, pride, boastfulness, disobedience, and forces you to avoid looking into the eyes of the one who has hurt you, abandoned you, or feared you. Holding a grudge only brings bitterness and sorrow in the soul. This is exactly the tragedy that Satan seeks to achieve.